I lived in Germany for over 23 years. During this time I did not once have to worry about being bankrupted due to lack of healthcare. It is mandated by the government that all employers insure their employees, no matter how small or large the company is.The company can choose whichever insurance company they want to, no state boundaries, a totally competitive market. Workman’s compensation, in some states here in the US not required due to the amount of employees one employs, is also mandated by all employers (in Germany). Everyone here in the US that is against the healthcare bill is screaming socialism, without really even knowing what it is. In this case it is healthcare mandated by law, so that all individuals within the system can receive healthcare without having to worry about becoming poor in the process, and Germany is a federalist country, not a socialist one.

What bothers me the most about this bill is that the thought and concept behind it is great, we need a general overhaul of our healthcare system. The implementation is in my opinion a little misguided and will not function in its present form. We need enough payers into the system to reap any benefits. We need competitive insurance companies that are not bound by state borders, because a competitive market is a good one that fights for customers and clients. We need employers that are fined if they do not offer healthcare to their employees (and I’m talking HUGE fines here), backing out and expecting the government to take over the heathcare will eventually totally ruin this country. The bill should cover individuals that are not employed, there should no longer be “networks” that will take you and others that won’t. The insurance companies should be happy that they are allowed to even have business after the way they have been treating us for years! Anyone and everyone should be covered and anyone and everyone that is self-employed should get coverage. To make this a real healthcare bill in the sense of what our president was wanting (my belief), it is just fundamental for all to be insured.

This is not Germany,and I’m so very glad to be back home, but a look at their initial healthcare bill would teach this country a bit about taking care of their citizens. The system is quite simple: Everyone is insured. Everyone that employs insures their employees, no ifs, whens or buts. Everyone that is self-employed insures themselves. The unemployed can be covered by a government plan, those on welfare as well. Age is irrelevant (students going to college are insured with their parents as long as they go to college), preconditions are irrelevant. Options to be privately insured should still be offered (meaning that even if you are employed and have health insurance, you can opt out of your employers insurance plan and pick your own, but in this case pay for it yourself). Families are covered by the main earner (so called head of household). A certain amount of co-pay is to be paid quarterly (in Germany they pay 25 Euro each quarter), a certain amount of co-pay (which is capped) is to be paid on meds, hospital stays are to be co-payed with a certain amount (in Germany it is 15 Euro a day, for 14 days max for one year, after that you don’t pay again even if you are hospitalized ten times after that, as long as this is  within that specific year). You can go to any friggin’ doctor you like, as long as you are referred from your family physician. How is this paid for? Easy…taxes, a deducted amount from your wages or salary, the states pay, everyone pays because everyone reaps the benefits. It is not that hard to understand.

One more thing. Fundamentally, it is the right of everyone to be be treated and receive health care treatment. It is not the right of everyone to be covered by healthcare insurance, at least that is what many are arguing with. To be able to take care of everyone in this country and to get this issue off of the table, we as a people have to realize that we all have to pitch in. We complain about bad streets, pay taxes and want them repaired. We complain about so many smaller issues that we want resolved so that our quality of life can be increased. How about we find a common ground to work on, so that the quality of life increases for all? A healthier country means a happier country, ergo possibly less crimes out of desperation. We were once considered the richest and strongest nation. Still, every night there are children that go to bed hungry, go to school hungry, cannot find parents willing to take care of them, we have cases of domestic violence, child abuse, pedophilia, crimes against the elderly (severe cases of abuse here as well), racial discrimination, gender discrimination, hate crimes, and goodness knows what else. Can we please, just this once, see beyond out petty differences and try to get one thing right? For the sake of our children, for the sake of their children, for the sake of our country, please?

Oh, for those using the religious argument saying Christians are all Republicans or Conservatives and against the healthcare bill, shame on you! Are you saying that not one single Democrat is a Christian?  I am extremely Spiritual, consider myself a Christian, am 1/8 Jewish and know in my heart, that the Lord takes care of those willing to take care of others. No matter what denomination, which belief system, political system, or whatever it is you follow or believe in, common sense is something we all should have.

And yes, SMILE doggone it.

It’s all good…eventually.

D.

We get cable and have a pretty big package. I didn’t need it that large, but the family thought of ALL the stations necessary to make them happy…and they still sit there zapping away.

Anyway, with this cable package, we can have movies on demand, even those that are just released on DVD. Quite practical actually, until you see the cost comparison. We also use a subscription service, which allows us to receive four DVDs of our choice and keep these as long as we want to. Then we return the DVD in the return envelope sent with the DVD. I could name a few of these services, but then this post would be over, so wait until the end.

There is also something called the Redbox. A box that you can find at Wal-Mart, which offers DVDs for a dollar a day (plus tax). Other shopping centers and grocery stores offer other ‘boxes’ (they just have a different color, the concept is the same). A dollar a day and you can even ’save’ the movie you want to watch over an account online. Not a bad concept, the movies are just hard to get to so you either get up real early on the release date, or reserve the movie online ahead of time and pick it up by 9 pm of the same day. All of  these options are much cheaper than the ordering over your cable company. Except that you have to wait to get the movie if it is already taken. Hey, some of them are worth waiting for.

The other option is to go into a video shop (there are loads around everywhere), become a member (which is usually for free) and rent your movie there. This costs more, and is often frustrating because you probably will not get the movie of  your choice on release date unless you are there at store opening and willing to fight for your film.

My suggestion is the following. Subscribe to a service which allows you to rent out a certain amount of movies for an unlimited amount of time, and also gives you access to video on demand over the television (you have to buy a Roku or have a PS3 if you want to watch them though) and also allows you to watch the shows of your choice over the internet. This all for a fixed price, always. You really don’t need more movies than that.

If you want to do something great so that the movie industry can continue making great movies, go to the movie theater occasionally and watch a movie there. If the movie you want to watch (or the television series you have fallen in love with) is that great, then for heaven’s sake, just purchase it and watch it as many times as you  want.

Two of the services that I know of personally are Netflix and Blockbuster, both not bad and inexpensive. Personally I have Netflix, although we did have Blockbuster (have no idea why we changed, but who cares). There is also Hollywood Video, Movie Gallery, Moviezone, Blockbuster stores and for gamers there is Game Fly.

I am adding the links to the two stubscription sites, use these wisely (just kidding). Hey, I’m trying to save you some money, not have you go out and spend more!

http://www.netflix.com/

http://www.blockbuster.com/

Divorce. Not easy for anyone.

I met an extremely nice man the other day and we had a short and a quick chat (I was waiting for my kids, he was on the go) about the LGBT community. I told him about Polyhistor.net, about my friend Kendall, about Del Shores and how great Jason Dottley is doing. He had never hear of Sordid Lives, although he did admit that the LGBT community was all ‘his’ (“Oh, I’m totally at home in the LGBT community, that’s my community”). We spoke of civil rights, of helping others find themselves and living their lives in acceptance…it was a very nice chat. K. (I’ll call him that) told me that his present problem in life is getting a divorce. I thought he was possibly getting a divorce from a woman so that he could be with a man. How silly of me. He was legally married to a man, because he had married in Canada. He could not get divorced within the United States unless he lived in Utah for a year and got a divorce there, or moved back to Canada and lived there for a while. I thought that was the oddest situation.

I know of many individuals that would love to be married, but cannot (same-sex marriage laws). I have never encountered a situation, in which an individual wants a divorce and cannot get one. So (yes, here it comes) I did some research on the matter.

Without going into the details of SSM (same-sex marriages) and how difficult it was before C38 was passed, the bill in Canada allowing SSMs, I found loads of information. The one I found most interesting was the fact that although marriage was legalized, until 2004 no one had ever filed for a divorce, and even that was hard to do. In 2003 a lesbian couple was granted a divorce, but only after it had been initially denied on the basis of the federal Divorce Act, because the word “spouse” is defined as only a “either of a man or a woman who are married to one another”. So since the word “spouse” was then ruled unconstitutional by Madame Justice Ruth Mesbur, the ruling was revoked, the divorce was recognized and proclaimed legal (Wikipedia.org). Now it may seem easy to get married in Canada, anyone willing to wait 20 days (between filing and actual ceremony) can have their dream wedding, fully legal, of course. Getting a divorce is a totally different matter.

First off, if you get married in Canada, no American court, unless in the states where SSM has been legalized, is going to recognize your marriage, ergo you are not going to have a chance of getting a divorce. Quite simply, if you’re not married, how can you get a divorce? In Canada you get married within 20 days, to get a divorce it takes a year! At least one partner must reside in Canada for one year (continuous) to be eligible for divorce (about.com). As for Utah, I could not find anything that states SSM’s can be divorced in Utah, since it also does not allow SSMs at all.

So although there are states in the US that do allow SSMs, they have strict residency requirements if you want to get a divorce. I did check, the residency requirements are for hetero couples as well, there the law makes no difference. If you are looking to hop on over to Canada for a marriage because of the short waiting period, you better be sure that the partner you marry is one you want to be with for a long time!

Taco Salad

• 1 bag Tortilla chips
• Shredded cheese
• Olives
• Red onions
• Lettuce
• Cucumber
• Tomatoes
• Jalapeno slices or pepperoni pepper slices
• Some cooked chili

This recipe is really easy. You can make it when you have some leftover chili or meat from fajitas. Buy some tortilla chips (I prefer restaurant style chips), heat them on a plate for a few seconds in the microwave or in the oven, whichever you prefer..

Pour about 1 cup (or portion) of heated chili on top of the chips. Now add your shredded lettuce, then your onion rings, tomato slices, cucumber slices, olives and shredded cheese. You can pour some dressing over the top or just put a dab of salsa and sour cream on top. This is a taco salad of a different type, I served it a lot in the restaurant and my customers loved it! You can  also used grilled or fried chicken strips, thinly sliced mixed bell peppers and sliced sautéed mushrooms, possibly sauté your thinly sliced onion rings as well.

You want to make it a little different? Try your chili, fajitas meat or chicken mixture over a huge baked potato. Once the potato is baked, open it up, fill in the mixture of your choice, cover lightly with some shredded cheese of your choice (For chili, use taco blend. For fajitas you can use Mexican blend and for chicken use an Italian blend or swiss), put the potato back into the oven for a few minutes, take it out and then add the lettuce-veggie mixture plus whatever else your heart desires.

This is excellent for leftovers, great for your budget, and can be served for even the pickiest of eaters. Vegetarians use the alternative Morning Star breakfast meal starters or the imitation beef crumbles.

Everyone will love this.

Dyslexia for short, but actually a developmental reading disorder, which results from an individual’s inability to process graphic symbols, is often mistaken for illiteracy or even worse; individuals with dyslexia are often submitted to ridicule and shame. The sad thing is that not always is dyslexia recognized the way it should be, especially not with schools striving for success and not admitting to failure. This failure may or may not be the fault of individual teachers, but more the fault of a messed up school system in its entirety. I personally have had students that have suffered from dyslexia and it is not so much the students that do not want the help of a diagnosis and “treatment”, but the failure of their parents to acknowledge that their children might suffer from dyslexia and that there is a treatment. I would believe that any parent would want their child helped, but this is sadly not the case. The admitting of a ‘flaw’ of their child would inevitably mean a flaw that exists possibly within them. Such ignorance just wants to make me scream, because the child suffers through a terrible injustice committed upon him/her from all sides; parents, teachers, society itself will treat an individual as an outcast as soon as ‘problems’ surface. This is a sad analysis of our system, but a quite true and common fact.

I never knew about dyslexia until years ago, I was watching the Bill Cosby Show. Leave it up to Mr. Cosby, he did try to include many topics that Americans face daily (one of the reasons I loved the show) and after this particular show, I thought it would be beneficial if I learned a bit more about dyslexia. I have children and thought it odd that my second born son was not as interested in reading as my oldest born or myself. It turned out that he didn’t have dyslexia, he was just too lazy to read (thank goodness that has changed!). I did find out that most dyslexic individuals visualize things differently, because they are visual, multi-dimensional thinkers, and are highly creative and intuitive. Now dyslexia has nothing to do with a visual impairment of any kind, but is because of the problems the brain has to recognize and process symbols. Children with dyslexia often have problems learning rhymes and separating the sounds in spoken words, which is fundamental in learning basic reading.  These children often have average or even above average intelligence, yet the inability to read fluently hinders them on advancing.

There are many ways to recognize if your child might possibly be suffering from dyslexia. First off, if your child does seem to have more problems than others in school, you might want to have a neurological and physical examination completed on your child, as well as looking into your child’s school performance, and doing some research on your family history. The reason for the latter is because learning disorders tend to run in families. Somewhere along the line, someone else in your family might have possibly suffered from dyslexia (or another learning disorder). It is extremely important to take dyslexia seriously. The complications that can arise from dyslexia are problems in school, such as severe behavioral problems, which are an indirect result of being teased by peers, loss of self-esteem (thinking one is worth less than others because of the inability to do something is a problem many have), and later on in life there can be occupational problems because reading is the basic requirement for almost any and every job.

If you believe that your might be dyslexic and suffers from the following:

Symptoms

• Difficulty determining the meaning (idea content) of a simple sentence
• Difficulty learning to recognize written words
• Difficulty rhyming
• May occur in combination with writing or arithmetic learning problems

Please have your child examined! Acknowledging a learning disorder or disability is not something to be ashamed about, doing nothing to help the child definitely is.

Here are some references to this post with very important links with more information, especially in regards to diagnosis and treatments:

https://health.google.com/health/ref/Developmental+reading+disorder

http://www.dyslexia.com/

http://www.interdys.org/

http://www.dyslexia.org/

Can a violent person be re-educated to not be violent? This blog-post asks that question. This is not a solution on how to cure a violent person within your family or one that is harming you or your loved ones. This post only asks the question to how violence can be stopped before it occurs and how people can learn ways in dealing with their problems other than with violence. If you are in a violent or abusive relationship, or know someone that is suffering from abuse or domestic violence, please contact one of the institutions listed at the end of this blog-post.

Violence: exertion of physical force so as to injure or abuse, an instance of violent treatment or procedure, injury by or as if by distortion, infringement, or profanation, intense, turbulent, or furious and often destructive action or force, vehement feeling or expression (merriam-webster.com).

You can find it everywhere, it’s not hard to ignore. Violence on the streets, in the classrooms and schools, in the home, portrayed and idolized in movies, in songs, literature…violence has always been a part of our culture. That doesn’t make it right, especially not when violence is directed at the weak, the innocent, the fragile and those that cannot protect or help themselves. I am not just speaking of children, but of men and women, the elderly and the younger generations. Violence doesn’t just stop from affecting an individual because of age or gender.

Abuse comes in many forms; verbal, physical, psychological/emotional. Often the abuser has suffered from diverse forms of abuse him/herself at one point or the other during their lives. Is that an explanation for then abusing others, for continuing the cycle of violence? Actually there are psychologists that will try to explain that an abuser that knows nothing different than to hurt or harm others, sees no wrong in their doings.

Now I do believe that there are individuals, that if taught nothing but pain and hate, they will grow up believing pain and hate are a lifestyle form and normal. Until of course they are confronted with other individuals that live differently, they will not know that the hate and pain inflicted upon them was wrong and continuing down the same path will just cause more suffering. Then again, I also believe that we all have a sense of morals instilled into us. How, I am not sure, but let us call it common sense. If it hurts, it is wrong. If it causes others agony and pain, it cannot be right.  Simple common sense that all individuals acquire sooner or later in their lives.

So what makes people practice violence on others? Are they just mean? Evil? Suffer from psychological disorders? Well, to answer that question one would have to analyze the psyche of each person individually and then determine whether or not a mental disorder exists, and to which extent. There are many psychological disorders, which have even been classified over generations with something called the DSM-IV-TR, which is a classification system that describes the features used to diagnose each recognized mental disorder an d indicates how the disorder can be distinguished from other, similar problems (Schacter, Gilbert, Wegner. 2009. pg. 491). Once a disorder has been properly diagnosed, it’s origin has to be determined before any treatment can be implemented. I personally do not believe in prescribing medication as a solution to a problem. Medication might help to an extent, but it doesn’t heal the disease or the illness, it just calms it down for a limited amount of time.

What needs to be done in many cases is to educate individuals that violence is not the answer to their problems. No matter what they learned during their childhood, no matter how often they personally suffered from violence, it was never right and cannot have helped that individual except to create hurt, anger, shame and possibly animosity or even hatred towards the violent person. I know of many people that were beat as children. If you ask them whether or not that was such a great idea, to have been beat by their parents, they answer that it didn’t kill them, it was not all that bad and they turned out pretty good adults. Often these same parents believe that beating their children is the answer to their lack of understanding of how to raise their own children.

Other parents I have met have suffered from extreme physical punishment as children and believe because of that their children need no form of parenting or punishment if they do something wrong. These children grow up wild, doing as they please, knowing no consequences to their actions. Finding a balance between the two is not easy, but since violence starts somewhere, and it is often the consequence of a violent childhood, it needs to be stopped before it causes a cycle of even more violence.

I think that parents should really take parenting classes. I have no idea how we can stop the continuous cycle of violence that reigns in our country. It has to start somewhere, with one generation passing it on to the next generation of children, that will one day become parents. Education is a powerful tool. Teaching parents how to deal with their children is just part of the lessons that they should learn, parents also need to learn how to handle themselves.

Learning to understand ones self, will teach one to understand others better. It may not make a lot of sense, but think of it this way, the phrase leading by example didn’t just fall out of the sky. It has meaning, it has depth. It shows that one cannot ask of others what one is not willing to learn or cannot do. A parent cannot ask of a child to be honest if the parent is a liar. One cannot ask of others to be understanding and open-minded if one is close minded and lacks any compassion for others. Educating parents about themselves first will teach them a better understanding of how to understand and raise their children.

There are people that have quite diverse opinions on homosexuality. The same lack of understanding can be found when it comes to religion. Mutual understanding is non-existent, it is not even attempted because each party has their own viewpoint and is unwilling to accept the others. Now I personally believe that homosexuality is something that an individual is born with, but am also willing to accept that there are individuals that believe otherwise. I will not say that my viewpoint has not created many harsh attacks against my persona as well as against my family, yet it is our reaching out to others for understanding that might make a difference to those that lack the same.

People of a certain opinion expect others to automatically accept, understand, and think the way they do. Without the willingness to understand other viewpoints, one cannot expect anything from others. That is just a plain fact. To get to a point where one knows the difference between two viewpoints, one has to learn about both of them. That is also a part of educating ones self. Learning that there are other ways to deal with anger or with hurt is a step in the right direction. A cycle of violence and abuse can be stopped, one just needs to understand why it is important to do so, and how to do so.

The first step to stopping violence is in recognizing that something is wrong, the next is finding out why it is wrong, the third would be finding out where it all began and then figuring out what to do to stop it. I am not implying that an overall healing of a violent person within the family is going to be a free pass for a happy ending. It is not. It is a long hard battle and many times, in many cases, violence is so severe within relationships that the only solution is to leave the violent partner. I am saying that if one ever suffered from violence in the past that this cycle does not have to continue. Learn how to deal with what has happened, learn how to not commit the sins committed upon you, and stop the violence.

STOP FAMILY VIOLENCE

http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/

FAMILY VIOLENCE PREVENTION FUN D

http://endabuse.org/

Domestic Violence Awareness Handbook

http://www.dm.usda.gov/shmd/aware.htm

NATIONAL COALITION AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

http://www.ncadv.org/

I know just how many people are going to be upset about this one, but hey, no one forces you to read these blogs and if you have a sense of humor, then continue. If not, then leave…fast, before you hurt yourself!

I have wondered about folks that just don’t seem to get it. I mean, seriously, if you go through a drive-through and tell the young lady you don’t eat pork and ask as to whether or not they have alternatives, why on earth would the conversation wind up like this?

Me: Your breakfast burrito, can it be made without pork sausage, my son doesn’t eat pork.

She: It is prepacked that way, I’m sorry ma’am.

Me: That’s fine, but do you have chicken perhaps, as an alternative to the pork? What I’m asking is do you have anything else besides pork sausage or pork products on the biscuits?

She: Well, how about ham?We have ham biscuits. Or maybe bacon?

HUH??? So ham and bacon do not come from a pig?

Drive-through guest requests a BLT sandwich. She receives the sandwich and refuses to take it.

She: I’m sorry, but this bacon is not crispy enough.

Employee: Ok ma’am, we’ll remake the sandwich for you. They remake the BLT and hand out a new one for the customer.

She:I’m sorry, but this bacon is not crispy enough. I need it crispier.

Employee: Ok ma’am, we’ll remake the sandwich for you again, I’m so sorry we did it wrong. They remake the BLT AGAIN and hand out a new one for the customer. By now, 2 wasted BLTs.

She: (no joke, this really happened) I’m sorry, but this bacon is not crispy enough. I need it much crispier. Can’t you just fry it out?  I can’t digest fat the right way so if you would just fry out the fat for me?

Now let me get this right. The chick goes to a fast food place, known for it’s extremely lean food ( a bit of sarcasm there), orders a BLT sandwich and wants the employee to DEEP FRY the bacon because she cannot digest fat. Is it me, or did she puff the magic dragon?

I cannot deal with ignorant folks. Mainly because my perception of ignorance is when an individual is not willing to put forth the effort to learn and understand something.This doesn’t mean that someone just hasn’t learned something yet, or just doens’t know, it means they don’t want to know but THINK they know it all. That, in my eyes, is ignorance. The mere fact that they ignore reality and refuse to learn other opinions or the truth makes them ignorant people. Then again, there are those that can’t help themselves, they’re just plain stupid.

Rink Shenkman of AlterNet.org phrased it so eloquently when he explained the five defining characteristics of stupidty.

First, is sheer ignorance: Ignorance of critical facts about important events in the news, and ignorance of how our government functions and who’s in charge. Second, is negligence: The disinclination to seek reliable sources of information about important news events. Third, is wooden-headedness, as the historian Barbara Tuchman defined it: The inclination to believe what we want to believe regardless of the facts. Fourth, is shortsightedness: The support of public policies that are mutually contradictory, or contrary to the country’s long-term interests. Fifth, and finally, is a broad category I call bone-headedness, for want of a better name: The susceptibility to meaningless phrases, stereotypes, irrational biases, and simplistic diagnoses and solutions that play on our hopes and fears (alternet.org).

When arguing topics such as homosexuality, abortion, and physical punishment (just to name a few) the majority of people will use religion as a valid source of information why some things are wrong and others are not. Science does not count as a credible and valid source of information, which I am not saying is not the right of each individual; to believe that they want to., yet to refuse to accept the opinion of anyone else as being a possibility is a major display of ignorance. These people believe that only their opinion counts and their beliefs are correct, any other viewpoint is disregarded with disrespect and a huge portion of intolerance. Not to disrespect the religious viewpoints of so many people, but if religion is based upon belief and not knowledge, yet knowledge is based upon facts which can be proven, should not the intelligent individual at least acknowledge what can be proven, just as the knowledgeable individual respects the beliefs of the other? Did I lose you?

I accept the opinions of others. I do not have to conform to them, nor do I have to indulge in having them preached to me as the holy grail, yet I am a humanist and a quite understanding as well as compassionate individual…to each their own as long as it harms no other. I have strong beliefs, but I definitely also am aware of the many things that can be explained with facts. Scientifically proven. Does that make me smarter than others? Heck no, it doesn’t, but it definitely gives me an edge on those that can’t see the forest for the trees.

If you don’t want to learn something, then as my daughter would say,”go ahead, be that way.” Just don’t complain if you feel left out or others know more than you do. There is no excuse for ignorance or stupidity. Everything in life can be turned into a lesson, getting something out of every lesson is what counts. Make the most of your life by opening your mind and asking questions. Learn something new daily…a word, a phrase, work on a new craft, hone your talents, broaden your horizon (I think I say that a lot) and educate yourself. Do not be ashamed to ask others to teach you something new. My children are by far the best teachers I have ever encountered, I am constantly learning new things from them.

“Wisdom is the right use of knowledge. To know is not to be wise. Many men know a great deal, and are all the greater fools for it. There is no fool so great a fool as a knowing fool. But to know how to use knowledge is to have wisdom.”
– Charles H. Spurgeon

Smile, it’s all good!

D

Do you like party and dance music? You do? Great! The you probably have heard of Party Around The World, which Dottley sings with Debby Holiday and was released December 15, 2009. It is now right behind (at number 31)…Lady Gaga and Beyonce’s Telephone, which is number 30 this week! Not bad at all!

http://www.partyroundtheworld.net/Party_Round_the_World/Welcome.html

Jason Dottley has a lot of fans, one of them,Jamie Boggs, has created a fan page on Facebook to animate people to sign up and get Dottley on the Chelsea Lately show. Hey, why not? Facebook is a powerful tool, just look what it did for Constance McMillen and a lot of other folks (we’re on there too…just saying). So since I am a fan of Del Shores and through him found out about Jason and like his music, I thought it would be pretty cool to help Jason out.

Here is the link to Jamie Boggs’ fanpage to get Jason Dottley on the Chelsea LatelyShow. you know how it goes, click the link or copy and paste into your browser.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=104052016294341&ref=mf

In the civil court case against Ittawamba County in a hearing on Tuesday held by U.S. District Judge Glen H. Davidson, the ruling was in favor of Constance McMillen. Her civil rights were violated when the School District decided to cancel the prom because of the fact that McMillen not only wanted to invite her girlfriend to the prom, but also wear a tuxedo (still can’t get over that one). Judge Davidson does intend to hold a trial on the issue of the cancellation, but honestly…it really no longer matters whether or not Ittawamba is going to have a prom or not. Constance was brave enough to put herself out there and fight for what she believes in.

You have to understand the mentality of people, especially in the Bible-Belt. Not only is Constance’s sexual preference a thorn in the eyes of most of the people there, but the fact that she dared to take this issue as far as she did really took the wind of the folks! I understand that a lot of seniors are totally upset over the fact that their prom has been cancelled, but what I really don’t understand is why these kids didn’t back Constance in the first place. If they would have all united and committed themselves to tolerance and understanding, instead of discrimination and bigotry…well they possibly could have not only had an awesome prom, but showed the nation that they are stopping a cycle of hatred and narrow minded ignorance.

The great things is that not only did this story hit the main media and even get Constance a stint on the Ellen DeGeneres Show as well as a 39K scholarship, it possibly empowered more people to stand up for their rights and fight for what they believe in. It definitely united a lot of parents that love their children regardless of their sexual preferences.

Polyhistor.net says, WAY TO GO!!!

This blog is about discrimination against diversity of another form. Not about the usual problems, which society suffers from or diverse groups campaign against. This blog deals with discrimination based upon appearance. Yes, you read correctly. We discriminate against individuals because of the way they look. What do I mean? Well, we make fun of short people, tall people, skinny people, fat people, people with distinct features such as big noses or ears, cross-eyed people, bald people, people with skin discolorations, skin diseases, disabilities…to put it plainly, we are a nation of arrogant and obnoxious individuals, which believe that everyone has to look “perfect”. So what defines perfect?

That is a good question. I have been trying to figure that out since I was a teen. I thought that society would accept me more if I was a certain height (not something I could influence), had a certain eye or hair-color, weighed a certain amount, wore specific clothing, acted a certain way…do you see where I am headed with this? I wrote a blog post about ‘forcing the norm’ and I have to admit, forcing the norm deals with more than just behavioral patterns. It also involves looking a certain way. The “right way” and being “perfect”, better yet, being a “10″.

That means, having the perfect BMI (body mass index), the perfect height, the perfect features and of course, the perfect image to go along with all of these perfections. Being too short meant being underdeveloped, being too tall meant being overdeveloped, being too skinny meant suffering from malnutrition, bulimia or anorexia, being too fat meant being a sloth, a glutton, having no self-control; let’s face it, if one of these ‘imperfections’ describes you, then society probably thinks you are an imperfect element of society and not really a contribution or useful. Is that a harsh definition of what people think? It definitely is harsh, but sadly if you ask any of the ‘perfect’ people, they will tell you just the same things I have just mentioned. Pretty sick, isn’t it?

Discrimination starts somewhere. I am the personal opinion (and you may differ with me, but hey, it’s a free country) that all children are born innocent and unrefined, blessed with no knowledge of envy, hate, intolerance, discrimination, or any of the other societal diseases that plague us. I also believe that whatever opinions these children have later on  in life are implemented by their surroundings. They are influenced by their parents, siblings, family members, friends, church groups, teachers, and society.  What I am saying is that WE teach our kids to be ignorant, intolerant and…discriminate.

Discrimination is really visible in schools, when kids bully their peers because of their differences. Often, it is not only the differences that intimidate the bully, but the bullies own angst, the fear of not being accepted in a group because of their own differences, lack of self esteem, inferiority complexes, the need to feel power over others because the child is being bullied at home, violence in the home, problems that the child cannot cope with and can only deal with them by harming others. For whatever reason and from where ever the hate and discrimination derives, it inevitably comes back to the source, the root of all evil, the upbringing of the child…said bully.

Later on in life, these bullies continue on with their intimidation of others, their violent rantings, their discrimination, because frankly, they never learned anything else. In a society where we are so set on being accepted for who and what we are, for freedoms that others fought so hard to earn for all of us, we actually believe we have the right to treat others in a manner that we would never tolerate to be treated. Why? What on earth is wrong with us?

We’re unhappy. Plain. Simple.

We are often lacking acceptance for our own differences, we cannot admit that the norm as such is not always what we strive for or desire, we suffer from low self esteem so we then demean and belittle others to make ourselves feel bigger and better. We put ourselves first, always before the well being of others because we seem to live after the motto that we are the ultimate beings. Come back down to earth folks, I hate to tell you this, but we’re not.

You have heard the phrase, ‘inside we are all pink’? Well, we might not be pink, but if cut, we all bleed, if we bleed too much we all die. We all need to be born one way or the other to even be here, and eventually we all need the same basic to exist. We breathe, we eat, drink, sleep, poop and potty. Yes, we are actually all the same…at least basically. Here comes what makes us unique and not clones…we are diverse!

Some of us are tall, short, fat, and skinny. Some of us can walk, others cannot. Some of us have disabilities that might hinder us in doing things like others can, but that doesn’t make us bad or outcasts, that just makes us different. Some of us come from different backgrounds, different cultures, have different skin colors, different religions, different preferences, different lifestyles. Some of us are talented, others are not. Some people are successful with absolutely everything they do while others constantly struggle…but each of us have a place on this planet and each of us are here for a reason. Even if it is to tick off those that cannot accept us.

The next time you look at someone, the next time your child comes home and talks demeaning about a peer, the next time you see someone discriminate someone else based upon them being different, then take a deep breath and think about yourself. You are not perfect, you have your faults, you have feelings, you can hurt, you can cry, you can suffer, and you can laugh and be happy. You are alive, maybe not in the way you desire, but you are here. Try and make a difference that can be looked at as positive. Be unique by not fitting the norm. Celebrate the differences of others by accepting them. As long as they are not hurting another individual, what harm are their differences to you? Is it not a blessing that we are not all the same? That we are not all clones? Try to learn acceptance and understanding; learn tolerance and then teach what you have learned. Start a new cycle of hope and understanding. You don’t have to understand everything that others do, or say, or practice, but you should learn to accept that the way they live is a part of who they are.

There is a saying in Germany that my ex-husband used to say. Life is like a chicken ladder, short and full of $#!+(you can imagine the rest). Well, it may be true, that about the chicken ladder, but I am the opinion that the easiest way to deal with that is to get a broom, sweep it off, and climb it again. If we all make an effort, who is to say that we cannot make a change? Exactly my point!

Smile, it’s all good!

D.

Who are you kidding? Considering the fact that taxes are going up, the cost of living isn’t getting any cheaper and you are running in circles paying off your debts, you need to re-evaluate your priorities. First you need to sit down and really write down just how much money you earn every month. Don’t look at this from gross income, because at the end of the year, if you forgot to pay your taxes, the IRS will not tell you twice to pay them. Take your total monthly net income, deduct the highest priority payments such as rent or mortgage, utilities, insurance premiums, any payments on college debts and any other life eminent payments (such as certain medications) that you have to pay for. This is more or less what you then have left. Now is it enough to pay for credit cards and automobile? It is? Great! How about food and possibly putting something into savings? Oh, you’re not eating this month. Ok, that won’t go good for too long.

People are constantly buying things they can’t afford. The new car, was it really necessary? Do you realize how much a car depreciates just by driving off the lot? A new car is something that you can get if you have no debt, a lot of extra cash that you don’t know what to do with, or you’re some kind of celebrity that has a certain image to uphold. Otherwise, why do that to yourself? Get a really good used one that you can afford, and pay cash. The more cash you have, the better the car, the less cash, well…you know the rest. Still, it is actually yours, you don’t have someone else holding a lien over your vehicle and you can sell it whenever you feel like it.

Credit cards, apparently something this country is so set on having to determine ones credit worthiness. An evil that I see as totally unnecessary and only making credit card providers as well as debt collectors happy. I believe in debit cards. Heck, I don’t even do checks anymore. I pay cash or debit and if I spend more than I actually have, I pay a fee for every overdraft, which is a painful process. So I try not to get over the limit. It actually works (except once, I paid tremendously for being really stupid with my bookkeeping) and it keeps spending within limitations of what I really need or not.

Direct debit or bill paying online is something I adore. It enables me to go online to my bank, pay whatever bill it is that I have to pay, and then automatically see just how much I have left in my account. The advantage is that the built-in software more or less does the bookkeeping for me, although I still make sure that I keep track of what I have paid and how  much is deducted from my account. Hey, when it comes to money, trust no one but yourself, not even your bank.

I know exactly how many bills I have to pay monthly and I know exactly how much money I have left to spend on groceries or whatever else is necessary. I keep track of all bills, all payments and of all purchases. It is not that difficult. I even use a steno pad to do my bookkeeping instead of a ledger because it is really just simple math. What does that do for me? Well, for one it often shows me where I spent money that I should not have spent. It also shows me where I need to save some, if possible. It definitely helps me keep better track of my money than if I were not to do it.

Now if you do think you need that certain extra little object of your desire, then save for it. If your credit card payments are really getting on your nerves, stop using the  credit card, pay off the debt on it bit by bit and switch to using a debit card and cold, hard cash. If you haven’t noticed, more and more stores and other facilities have started using debit or cash and have stopped allowing payments with credit cards and checks. There is a reason for that and it could possibly be the high debt this country is in, as well as the payment history of many credit card holders. Hey, it does effect the economy if we are all in debt, believe it or not.

So the next time you get your paycheck or your money is deposited into your account, sit down and do some serious bookkeeping. Take toll on what you spend, and how you spend it. Remember that some things are not really necessary, and others are worth waiting for. Free yourself of unnecessary debt by getting rid of the heavy weight anchors called installment payments and credit cards. Try keeping your hard earned cash together by remembering just how hard it really was to earn it. Know where your money goes, and why. Remember that it is not your right to make bills, but your responsibility to pay them.

Just What ARE We Teaching Our Children?

Education is important. It opens the mind, broadens ones horizon, teaches an individual the necessary lessons,which give that person the right tools for his or her future. Is that what we are doing now? Giving our kids the right tools for their future?

I have worked with a lot of kids, some of them were brilliant, while others were struggling to understand their lessons. I never understood why the kids with problems in school didn’t receive more attention than those that had it easy. It didn’t seem to be that way when I was going to school; our teachers were more engaged, had more zeal, were teaching because they wanted to make a difference. Things have changed, but not for the better. I wanted to know why, so I did some research.

First off, teachers will tell you that they don’t get paid enough money for what is expected of them, so often, many of them just don’t put forth the effort. Not all teachers are like this, but a lot of them are. Do teachers really earn so little? Then why on earth do they become educators in the first place? Just how much does the average teacher earn anyway?

According to The American Federation of Teachers, the average teacher ears approximately $47,602 . Teachers with a bachelors earn less than those with a master’s degree (logical) and primary teachers earn roughly $4000 less than their secondary teacher counterparts. The specialization of the individual teacher is also a part of the equation: the average math teacher earns around $38,000, while a science teacher can earn $62,000 plus. The higher up on the map ones goes, the more the teachers get paid. Seemingly a logical step, since the cost of living is higher as well (employmentspot.com).

That all sounds like a lot of  money to me, so is it justifiable that teachers are constantly asking for more pay?

Well that depends on a few factors. If a teacher lives in an area where the cost of living is high, then it is only feasible to pay the teacher a sustainable salary. Don’t forget that to get where these teachers are, they all had to go to college, which is not exactly inexpensive. The more one wants to get paid, the more education one needs, and that adds to the individual educational debt, which all has to be repaid. School is expensive. For the teacher to get there, and for the teacher to stay there.

So now we have well educated teachers that earn good  money (more or less) and still are not doing their jobs, which is to educate our children. Why not? This could be for many reasons. One being parents. Parents seem to think that any form of reprimanding in regards to the behavior or study habits of their children is not the place of an educator. So if these children bring home a bad grade, or a negative comment in regards to how they behave in class, parents seem to go ballistic! “My child doesn’t deserve this grade.”, “My child is always well behaved.”, “My child is not to receive negative feedback, it is detrimental to their progress.”, blah…blah…blah.

Parents are one of the major number one reasons that teachers give up. Now do understand that I realize there are really terrible teachers out there that do not give a flying fruit about their students. Why they ever chose the teaching profession I will never understand. There are those teachers that do care, and still have no chance whatsoever. Parents seem to think that their kids ‘deserve’ good grades just for showing up in school. Not all parents. There are many that would love to see their kids succeed, but these kids have the bad luck to have the rotten teachers. It seems to be a constant circle, from which there is no escape. Or is there?

Sports are important. They help kids grow, keep them fit, teach them to function within a team, keep them off of the streets…let’s face it, sports are vital to the development of a child. They should not be more important than a student’s academics, but sadly many schools put more emphasis on their sports teams than on whether or not a student can actually read or write. Seriously, I had a student (10th grade) that could not read squat. I asked him why, wondering if the poor kid had dyslexia or if there were other problems involved. I was told that he was an awesome football player and that he always got promoted into the next higher grade. I wondered about the testing that is implemented every year on all schools nationwide and received the answer that there is a certain quota of students that have to pass these tests, otherwise the government cuts the funding for the schools. Excuse me? So we just let the kids pass? Wouldn’t it be easier to ensure their education by actually teaching them something?

There has been much talk about the voucher system, also about having teachers yearly evaluated based upon performance. I do agree with the voucher system. As a business major I concur that competition makes a business better, then it will definitely make a schools performance better as well. If a school fears to lose the necessary students required, it also faces to be shut down and consolidated. As for the yearly performance evaluation… are you kidding me?

Teachers can’t be judged on the poor performance of their students, or can they?  Is that the way to see whether or not your kids have learned anything? Tests are generalized and not comprehensive enough to relay whether or not a teacher actually ‘taught’ a child anything because all kids get the same tests. The students each have individual needs, skills and knowledge based upon their performance, not alone on the performance of the teacher. So what to do? Individualized tests.

I do believe in testing teachers. Seriously, students are required to take tests every year to see what they know. It is called yearly exams. Based upon these yearly exams these students receive their grades. First off, no longer allow multiple choice tests. Give the kids more practice tests during the year to analyze where they need more help. Set up special classes that will actually implement study sessions such as should be done during study halls. These should not be used for coffee breaks of the teachers or whatever else they are used for. Homework clubs before and after school should and could be set up for kids that need help with homework, overseen by qualified parents or teachers aids or college students.

Next, test the teachers. No joke, they need to be tested just as the students are. If a teacher expects a student to pass a math exam, then he or she better be qualified enough to pass it as well. If a teacher can’t pass the same tests he or she gives the students, then something is definitely wrong with our system. Teachers should also be ‘graded’ on how they perform in class based upon feedback from students. No, I’m not joking. I know there will always be students that absolutely hate their teachers, but in general an employee receives a yearly evaluation based upon performance. To analyze whether or not the employee has actually given his or her best performance, a self-evalution should take place, an evalution from ones supervisor (principle) should take place, and from the students being taught. Why? Well if the students have the right to give feedback, won’t the teacher try a bit harder? I do think so.

Last but not least, students should be evaluated much stricter and totally politically incorrect, meaning parents need to hush! Unless your child is actually being mistreated and you know that the teacher or school is to blame, you need to start being a parent, for goodness sakes! Start communicating more with your child, find out where he or she is having problems and STOP being so judgmental when they fail. You were the perfect student? So now you have the ultimate job and career to prove it? Didn’t think so. First off, teach your child some respect. It would help if you learned to respect your child as well. Next, how about teaching some values and common sense? Do unto others and so forth is not just biblical, it is logical that a human being wants to be treated with decency, integrity and respect. Teach your kids to not bully others, to not discriminate, and that education is necessary and good for them! Meaning, they HAVE to learn, and yes, they will sometimes not like it, and sometimes get bad grades if they don’t try hard enough, and other times possibly fail. That is part of life. Get used to it.

If all fails, and I do emphasize the word ‘if’, then find alternatives that can help your child, not harm it. Home-schooling is one of them, but do it the right way, not half heartedly. Think about moving (of course only if possible) into an area with better schools, examine the schools in the area BEFORE you move into it, talk to other parents, talk to the teachers, be realistic about the limitations of your child and understand that when he or she needs help, it is nothing to be ashamed of. Get help! If you do have a ‘rotten egg’ as a teacher in the school your child attends, then talk to other parents and do something about it. Be ready for a fight, it won’t be easy and it won’t be nice. It will be well worth it though, because it is for the sake of your children.